In early April 2019, Valeria and Isaac experienced a profound loss. Unlike the quintessential scene where excited parents depart the hospital with the wife cradling their newborn as she is pushed in a wheelchair, their son Everett would not be leaving the hospital with them. Instead they would be leaving with not-quite empty arms. Instead they would be leaving with “Button,” a weighted Comfort Cub.
For parents leaving the hospital without their child, the grief is immense. In the midst of that deep, unimaginable grief, some parents are able to come up for air and share their story which is POWERFUL. It teaches others in their community what that experience was like - and because of that, in turn we can learn how to react in appropriate ways to make the experience tolerable.
Here is Valeria and Isaac’s story:
"This is Belly Button (Button for short), he is a Comfort Cub. He is a weighted bear given to us by the hospital. I wanted to shed some light on these sweet little bears. Because we had an experience that wasn’t so awesome but I think it’s because not everyone knows about these sweet bears. These bears are meant to comfort mothers who have lost their babies. The teddy bear is specially weighted and is intended to feel like holding a newborn. While the initial intent of The Comfort Cub was for child loss, evidence shows it provides profound relief for any traumatic event. It sounds crazy or maybe even silly but this bear really helps."
"So the night I left the hospital I wrapped sweet button in Everett’s blanket and they wheeled me through the hospital. Although I was leaving broken hearted and without my son I wasn’t empty handed. I held onto Button close to my chest and covered his head as I would have my own son. While we walked down the halls I saw a couple and I noticed they stared at me. But what I didn’t see - my husband sadly did. They tried to take a peek at what they thought was a baby. When they saw it was a bear their voices got lower; they started to smirk at a grown women holding a teddy bear so tightly. When my husband saw this his first reaction was his fist balled up. He was very hurt and defensive. He later shared with me what had happened with tears in his eyes. He was so hurt and his voice was paralyzed to tell them we had lost our baby."
"I wasn’t upset with these people because they are ignorant. They didn’t know what this bear represents, but I wanted to make a post to shed some light on these sweet little things. The night I left the hospital was so hard but having Button made it just a little easier. If you see anyone with a bear and they are holding onto them tightly just say a prayer for them. You never know what tragedy they are going through. You may not understand - but smirking at them will bring more harm than you think."
*Valeria and Issac made their Facebook post public, with the ending, "Knowledge is Power" - we'd like to share that as a hashtag #knowledgeispower.
Giving our biggest bear hugs to the three of them.